Dating Does Kinda Suck...

For as long as I can remember, I have been a serial dater. I love meeting new people and I love the nervous excitement of a new crush or fling. Everyone dresses nicely, they are on their best behavior and flirting (which is scientifically proven to boost your self-esteem) and of course, the free drinks and meals don't suck. (If you're a woman and you claim that you would prefer to go dutch or pay for the dude, you are a damn liar.) At first, dating is fun, and it's new and I am totally into it.

But after the first few dates is when dating starts to kinda suck. You and this other person enter this strange area where you need to decide if you're going to be in a relationship, or just stay "dating" and inevitably end up in a non-stop cycle of game playing, hooking up without commitment and all-around awkwardness. This area is the worst for someone like me. I am totally anti-games, and I almost NEVER want to cross over to the dark side - a relationship.

I hate relationships. Hate them with a passion. Everything they represent makes me cringe. I hate checking in with people, I hate them checking in with me, I hate jealousy, I hate worrying about someone other than myself simply because we are sleeping together - I hate it all, but I do love men, I do love sex, and I do love gossip. Even when it's about myself.

My twenties were full of totally ridiculous and random men, I think more than the average American woman. My love life became the hot topic of drinks and dinner with my girlfriends (who are almost ALL in serious relationships) because there was always something bizarre happening. If I wasn't dating a dude with some sort of complex, I was dating a guy with no manners, or a huge penis and no "moves", or some sort of strange fetish. While I have attempted to blog some of these experiences before, I've never been entirely consistent, and worse, I've always had to censor myself for fear that a colleague, ex-boyfriend, or family member would see something that they shouldn't. So I have decided to document my every dating move for one year, and see what happens.

I've recently moved, and in order to create some additional footfall in my romantic life - strictly for the purpose of this blog - I have subscribed to Match.com for six months. They promise that if you don't find a match within those six months, they'll give you an additional six months free of charge. (Never mind that if their service doesn't work, I'd rather get my money back than another half year of a waste of time, free or not.) This, of course, comes with a few caveats - your profile has to be visible for the entire six months and you have to send or respond to at least 5 unique emails per month. The second part seems easy enough, but let's say that after one month you meet a guy who you think is really great and after hanging out for a few weeks, you decide to make him your boyfriend, and in turn, you "hide" your dating profile. If within a couple of weeks you find out that he 1) has not hidden his own profile, 2) is seeing multiple women, or 3) he is in actuality a complete and total douchebag, and you "unhide" your profile so you can keep looking for a nice guy, you've lost the chance to get your additional six months for free. So really, you only get the "bonus" months if you don't meet anyone - at all. Ugly people rejoice! (Kidding.)

So I'm going to give it a try. The worst that can happen is I waste $120 (and anyway, that basically is what happens every time I go out in NYC or walk into the M.A.C. store). The best case is that I meet some nice guys, go on some fun dates, and possibly even get laid so I can stop being a sex camel - see www.urbandictionary.com. I am NOT looking for Mr. Right or for someone to "settle down with" - that would be completely against every fiber of my being (at least at this point in my life) and I cannot stress enough that this is an experiment/documentation of a year in the dating life of a freshly-turned-30 year-old woman with bigger goals than just wearing a white dress and having a garter publicly removed from her leg. I haven't been fully ensconced in the dating "scene" in a long time for a number of reasons, and I'm anxious to get back in the game - if not for my own wellbeing, than at least for entertainment's sake.

Stay tuned...