So Disgusting

So I have to apologize for being absent for more than a week - I started school this week and I have been so busy with homework, work, and trying to sleep in between that I've literally had no time to do anything for myself. I actually think that I am sick now.

I owe everyone an update. Chincredible is officially out of the picture - just as recently as 20 minutes ago. Basically where we left off is that he broke our date to go to Ruth's Chris last Friday and I was just kind of leaving it alone to see what would happen next. He texted me the next morning, full of apologies, and I kind of shrugged it off, chalking it up to him not feeling like himself what with the bum knees and painkillers. I did tell him that I wasn't in a rush to meet up with him but that when we did we should stick to quick drinks - he agreed, but then the next day suggested we go to Panera for lunch on Labor Day. Now I am not a snob, and I don't think I am above Panera (that shit is delicious) but I just think that when someone wants to take you out to dinner and then breaks that date and offers to take you to get a Pick Two instead, something just doesn't compute.

With that in mind, I continued to text with him, and was pleased when he called me at 8am the morning my first day of school this past Tuesday, just to wish me luck. We have spoken on the phone every night for the last week and a half, and I was genuinely excited to meet him...finally! I have to say that it's been strange to talk to someone I have never even laid eyes on but felt like I was really getting to know. I was sharing more than I would with someone I met in person and then started dating, and I was definitely letting my guard down. I even went so far as to tell my friend (who wants me to be in a relationship more than anything) that I was really into him, thought he was awesome, and was annoyed that we hadn't met in the first week we were talking as originally planned. If we had met two weeks ago, when we were supposed to, I would have been much cooler about the whole thing, more distant and aloof, and wouldn't be in the position I am now where I am totally hurt and disappointed.

We made plans to meet up tonight - and unbeknownst to him, this was to be his last shot with me. I don't usually adhere to the "three strikes, you're out" rule, but in a situation like this, where I don't even know this person and he's already disappointing me before we are even dating, I think it's totally called for. I texted him this morning, not uncommon for us to do, to say good morning. I didn't receive a text back right away - which is the norm. I wouldn't usually care, or even really notice, but that's exactly what happened last week - I strangely didn't hear anything from him all day, and then at 4:30 he texted me to bail. So I called him about four hours after I sent this morning's text and left a message asking when he wanted to meet. He texted me two hours later to ask me if he should get a room for us. A hotel room.

I wrote back that I hoped he was kidding but something in the back of my mind told me that he definitely wasn't. I got a text back almost immediately saying "Come on - we can get drunk and fuck around." Now I am not an angel, and I am SO not a prude, but there is no reason that he should have texted me something like that. None at all. The conversation we had last night right before we went to bed was about where we should go and how we were both nervously excited about meeting up. So what changed in less than 24 hours? I engaged in a little bit of texting with him after that, basically telling him that I was disappointed and hurt, that he had made me feel like a total whore, and that I thought that he had thought more of me than that, to which he responded "Who cares, we are adults."

I stared at the text for a minute, and then back at the texts he has been sending me all week, telling me that he thought I was beautiful, that he thought I was the funniest woman he had ever met, and that he couldn't wait to meet me, and I deleted all of it. I deleted all his texts, all his emails, and all his contact information. I deleted him off of facebook, and I decided right then and there that I am not doing this again - it's stupid to let yourself get emotionally involved with someone you meet via an internet dating site. You should feel someone out a bit, screen them a touch to make sure they aren't crazy, and then meet as soon as possible. You'll know if the person is someone you could see yourself spending more time with or dating right away, and you aren't putting yourself at risk to get hurt. The way I was.

And I'm a jerk - I've been ignoring the other guys who have been sending me emails and communication requests and investing the majority of my time into Brian Kelly*, and totally ignoring the whole purpose of this blog. It's to meet as many people as possible. I've been sending half hearted emails, texts and haven't been returning phone calls - all because I was into this idiot. But with every endeavor, you'll have a stumble or two at the beginning, and this was mine.

I actually have plans today to call this guy from Match who one of my friends communicated with before I even saw him - by hijacking my account. She called me and told me about him and said that he seemed like someone I would like. (Is it bad that when we talked over Instant Messenger and he asked what had made me wink at him, I told him that it was my friend and not me? He seemed OK with it but who the hell knows?) I don't have a nickname for him yet - but I promise I will.

*Yep, that's his name. Chincredible = Brian Kelly. From West Orange. I made a commitment to myself when I started this that I would change names to protect the innocent and not change names to expose the douchebags - and I think we can all agree that Brian Kelly has exposed himself. Although probably not the way he wanted to. :)