So I had this boyfriend...it was a quick little relationship, and then it was over.
I may have written about it on here before, not really sure. Regardless, it was probably in all honesty the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. He was very sweet and gentlemanly, gave me the space I needed, never let me pay, and told me how he felt about me. There were things missing from the relationship for sure - we didn't really have that much in common, and we didn't laugh together all that much (which to me is the most important piece of a relationship), but I enjoyed spending time with him.
It ended because I thought he was dating other girls behind my back - I caught him on a dating website and assumed the worst. While I tried to decide how to handle it - this was over the course of a few days - I told him a little white lie about what I'd be doing one night when I thought he was trying to be with this fictional "other woman" and I got caught. We had a huge fight where I brought up the dating website, I kicked him out of my house, and he mailed my belongings to my job.
I have never, in the last almost ten months, felt like he was the "one who got away" or like I should be with him and it was all a misunderstanding, or anything like that, but on more than one occasion I have missed his companionship. When I lost my job in March, I wished that I had had him to talk to, and I even attempted to get in contact with him a couple of times before he reached out to me about two months ago.
He apologized for how he acted, he told me that he felt responsible and that he was wrong about everything, and that he believed I was a genuine person and wanted me to be in his life again. We gradually started speaking every so often through texts and emails, and now we talk on the phone every other day.
Ironically, we have more to talk about now than we did while we were dating, and at the end of the day, he might just need or want someone to talk to. I have been so stressed with school and work lately, that it's nice to have him to talk to at night, or to get a text from him during the day. I can't even say if it's romantic...I don't think that it is because truthfully I never really felt proverbial fireworks with him.
Ten months ago I had a job I loved, an awesome apartment, money to spend, and I was (almost) completely independent. Now I am living with my parents (albeit temporarily), I work part-time at a job I somewhat care about, go to school and feel like I will never have money again. I am turning my car, which I love, back in to the dealer in January, and I will get a hand-me-down shitbox that my younger brothers both had. But it will be free.
So maybe this old boyfriend is what feels like the last piece of my old life. He feels like something that connects me to who I used to be, and what I used to have. I'm not a person who is hung up on material things, but I miss that old life, and I can't wait to get out of this limbo and back into a new life, and maybe he just came back at the perfect time.
He invited me to visit him for New Years Eve...but I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet. I still have nine months left of this "project" and I am doing a shitty job so far...
PS I quit eHarmony. Booooooo-ring!
Fortune Favors The Bold
8 months ago
